3 Things I Learned in 2016

Photo from Unsplash.com

They say that the older you get, the faster time goes by. If this is the case, then I feel like I'm 103 because it feels like yesterday it was summer when actually it's winter and it's almost 2017. What sorcery is this!?

Anyways, this time of year always makes me both excited and anxious because it'll be a new year, and - it'll be a new year. There will be new opportunities, new challenges, and a fresh start. Everyone wants to start the new year off on the right foot, but part of growth is learning from past mistakes. 

This includes the mistakes you made in 2016. For some of you, this may have been colouring your hair "silver", getting back with an ex who wasn't good for you, or saying something mean when you shouldn't have. 

This week, I'd like to share some of my worst mistakes  best lessons learned over the past year. 

1) You don't have to settle. 

This year some of my biggest struggles revolved around a toxic ex-roommate and feeling undervalued at my workplace. These are common struggles around the world and situations that I've dealt with in the past, but this year the outcome was different: I learned that I didn't have to settle and I decided not to. 

To clarify, compromising is necessary in life, but settling is a choice. This year I decided to choose happiness and put myself first, instead of settling with situations and people that left me miserable or feeling less than I deserve. 

This included saying goodbye to a childhood friend - the same friend that became my roommate from hell over 2 years due to her unresolved mental health issues. I also said goodbye to a city and job because I no longer felt like I was a valued employee. Neither of these decisions were easy to make as they affected me mentally, physically and financially, but they were decisions which had to be made if I was going to do what was best for me. 

While I don't have everything worked out yet, I know I made the right decisions for both situations because I felt relieved immediately after I made the choice not to settle. There's always a choice!

2) It's okay to move on.

If you followed my blog about a year ago, then you'll already know that I had been going through a difficult breakup some time ago (catch up here!). It's a breakup that haunted me for the past 2 years - not because it was a long relationship but because it was the first relationship where I really, truly loved someone and opened up to them. 

This relationship ended almost 2 years ago, but I was still holding onto it. It's not that I wasn't trying - I was seeing other people and open to someone new, but no one as good or real (for me) came along. That is until I met my current boyfriend. 

I knew he adored me long before we even started dating, and I knew he was great and we had a lot in common - but I wasn't going to allow myself to jump into anything I wasn't sure about. So we started hanging out in May and after 3 months of friendship, I really started seeing things in him that I hadn't had in any previous relationship; I started comparing my ex to him, instead of him to my ex. I realized that this was someone really special - someone that was never going to intentionally hurt me and was always going to put me first. 

So before we headed out on our first vacation together, I wrote my ex-boyfriend a letter. It was handwritten and sent via snail mail - after asking his mom for his address because he had blocked me on everything else. 

In the letter, I apologized for the mistakes I made while we were together and let him know that I forgave him for his mistakes. I let him know that while things ended badly, I wasn't angry anymore and wished him the best. 

This was me letting him go. I was after 2 difficult years, finally able to set myself free from the pain of losing us. I learned that it was okay to love my ex without it holding me back from new love. I learned that it was okay to move on.

3) Sometimes you need to be aggressive.

In the past, I've had a habit of letting certain situations or negative treatment from people slide because it was easier than confrontation (does anybody actually like confrontation??) However most often than not, I've kicked myself after a bad situation for the things I should have said or did. I regret not taking a bigger stand when it mattered or for standing up for myself when I felt disrespected.

I've learned that sometimes you need to be aggressive. I'm not talking about getting up in someone's face for no reason, or throwing punches - I'm talking about thoughtfully and respectfully telling someone off when need be, or standing up for what's right. Words are powerful tools which can be used to debate, persuade and discuss. They can be used to defend yourself or create change for a bad situation. 

This past year, I've been working on speaking out more. I reported a professor who was cutting classes, being disrespectful to students and not taking our education seriously - she ended up being replaced for the semester because multiple students spoke up. When more people stand up for what's right, society progresses. 

Another example was when I asked a previous employer for a raise. In previous part-time jobs, I accepted the minimum wage I was offered with no fuss because I was young and unsure of myself and the job system. I felt that minimum wage was acceptable for someone of my experience/education etc. 

This year however after graduating with my second diploma, and with several years of experience under my belt, I was no longer going to accept an intern's wages. So I decided to speak up and brought the issue up with my employer. 

The outcome was that I was offered a raise, but in the end it wasn't significant enough to be worth my time and effort (or anywhere near the cost of living in Toronto) so I left the job. While I didn't get the outcome I necessarily wanted, I did learn that I can create change when I speak up. I learned that sometimes you need to be aggressive and ready to fight for what you really want. 

Photo by Chris Amorim.

To sum it up, 2016 was a good year with some valuable lessons learned. I've learned the value of speaking up and have grown into a person that's allowing myself to move on when things don't go as planned, and only pursuing things in life that make me truly happy. I'll be taking these lessons into the future where I know my future self will benefit from these experiences and wisdom as I continue on my journey of personal growth - I hope you will too!

I'll be on holiday next week but will be back with new blog posts in the new year. In the meantime, I wish you all a happy and healthy holiday season. Cheers!

Brittany

@simplylynne

"The only way that we can live, is if we grow. The only way that we can grow is if we change. The only way that we can change is if we we learn. The only way we can learn is if we are exposed. And the only way we can become exposed is if we throw ourselves out into the open. Do it. Throw yourself."
                                                                                                     - C. Joybell C.

Button Up Your Overcoat with Zelma and Jack

In an effort to escape the well-played Mariah Carey and Michael Buble this holiday season, I found some great playlists on Youtube with Christmas tunes from the 1900s-1950s (just search vintage Christmas music!)

 The one song in particular "Button Up Your Overcoat" with Jack and Zelma stole my heart.

 Enjoy!

❤❤❤

5 Things to be Thankful for Right Now

Photo from Unsplash.com

I'll admit it - I'm a little bit addicted to Instagram. I probably check my notifications 30 times a day, and spend at least an hour a day checking out other people's photographs (note to self, spend less time on social media.)

Social media, and Instagram in particular to me is a place for inspiration and art - however it's also a place where the green monster of envy can settle in. It's especially hard this time of year when everyone's posting pictures of their lovely homes and Christmas trees, their exciting holiday vacations, fabulous presents, or beautiful weddings.

I know you've likely heard the phrase "comparison is the thief of joy" and it's absolutely true. I used to get jealous and upset sometimes over the awesome things people were doing/getting, however I've gotten a lot better changing my perspective to something more positive.

Let's be honest - someone will always be doing something more exciting or interesting than you are - but life isn't a contest, and that doesn't mean you can't be happy. Happiness starts with a grateful heart.

If you take more time to be grateful for the things you have in life instead of wishing for things you don't have, you'll be a much happier individual. After all, many of the things you do have, someone else wishes they had. It's all about your perspective. 

This holiday season, don't forget to take some time to appreciate the gifts you've already been given such as...

1) Your health

Whether you're in perfect health right now or not, take a moment to be grateful for the health you do have. Our bodies are truly amazing machines which allow us to walk, dance, speak, move, experience and so many other things.

It's easy to take our health for granted unless it's threatened by illness, accident or old age - all of which, we can't predict. If you're reading this, then you're already better off than some other less fortunate people in the world.

2) Your senses

Sometimes when I see something really beautiful, I take a moment to stop and try to memorize the moment - the colours that I see, the scent in the air, the sounds I hear etc. I try to memorize the shapes of the scene, the lines in front of me, and any details that I usually tend to overlook. I know I may not always be blessed with my sight (or hearing etc.) so I try to capture a few vivid memories in my mind.

By doing this, I not only have some beautiful memories, but I'm also reminded of the joy and beauty my senses add to each experience. It also helps me be more present in the moment which makes me feel more grounded and content in life.

3) Your belongings

During my early childhood, I was what many considered to be an "underprivileged child". We didn't have a lot of money, and the money we did have was often spent in unhealthy ways due to a lack of proper parenting (an entirely different story).

Because of this more troubled beginning, I had a hard time sharing my things with other children as I got older. The feeling of scarcity made me into a somewhat selfish child out of fear of not having enough. My toys, my bed, my food were mine and I would rudely say no or put up a fight whenever someone asked to borrow something from me.

Now that I'm older and wiser, I can understand how this childhood fear affected my life and relationships. I've learned not only to share better, but how to appreciate the things I do own. Each piece of clothing, furniture, book etc. that I've collected is a blessing which can add comfort and joy to my life.

Since I've been fortunate enough to have these belongings, I think it's important to share them when I can and try to bring joy and comfort to someone else. As Anne Frank would say, no one ever became poor by giving!

4) Your privileges 

I understand that many privileges are still sadly based on race, gender, sexual preferences, etc. It'll be a long, long time before all of society believes we're equal regardless of these things. Regardless, we're still blessed with many privileges worth being grateful for. Things like water, food, and electricity aren't rights - they're privileges for those who can afford them and have access to them.

My boyfriend and I have had many conversations about how absurd it is that we need to pay for things that we need to survive such as clean water, heat in the winter, and food. We discuss how feminine products, birth control, and basic medicine isn't available to everyone but are necessary for good health and the good of the world.

Most often these discussions leave us frustrated with society and trying to find ways that we can do better and create change. Since we are blessed with so many privileges, it's our duty as decent human beings to try to improve the lives of others, too.

5) Your life

Life isn't perfect - we all know that, but simply being alive is the greatest gift we could have. With life we're given the opportunity to learn, to experience, to grow, and to love. The opportunities and experiences we could have are countless and each choice we make can lead to a new us and a new life. Life can change in an instant - for good or bad, so it's important to enjoy what we have while we have it.

Likewise, mistakes and hard times are a part of being human and part of what makes us truly appreciate the time we're given on earth. Take a moment and be grateful for the years you've so far been given, the hard times you've overcome, and think about the possibilities of tomorrow.

It's easy to take the blessings in our lives for granted, especially during the holiday season. Instead of wishing for this or that, try and practice contentment and joy with the gifts you've already received. 

I am grateful for my health and my ability to experience joy with my senses.
I am thankful for clean water, fuel for my body, and a warm place to sleep tonight.
I appreciate my opportunity to live and experience life.
I will make an effort to be more generous and help others find comfort and joy.
I welcome abundance and happiness into my life, and I am grateful for all of my blessings.

Namaste.

Brittany
@simplylynne

The Best Gift to Give Yourself This Season

Photo from Unsplash.com

With American Thanksgiving over and the rush of Black Friday finished, people all around the world are gearing up for the busiest month of the year. There are people to see, events to plan, and in Hagrid's words - "lots to buy" as we prepare for the holidays.

December isn't just about those holidays and all the busyness that comes with it. It's also about finishing off another year and preparing for a new one. 

Knowing this can stir up a lot of mixed emotions. Combine this with holiday stress, frequent interactions with other people, and cold weather and you've got a recipe for illness. 

If you're wanting to fully enjoy December, you need to approach it with a clear head - not a stuffed up one! Practicing some self-care (a.k.a. soul care) rituals is essential to keeping yourself calm and healthy this holiday season.

Here are some of my favourite ways to wind down. If you'd like to share some of your own, feel free to comment below!

Have a cup of tea. Or three.

There's nothing that makes me more content or relaxed than a great cup of tea.

My two favourite brands right now are David's Tea and Pukka Teas. Many teas not only taste good but have ingredients which can physically combat illness! For boosting the immune system, Pukka's Elderberry and Echinacea is great (and so delicious!) as is Pick Me Up from David's Tea with cold fighting turmeric and ginger.

Cuddle with a pet/significant other/blanket 

Cuddling is scientifically proven to release stress. Less stress = healthier you. Plus, it's chilly and cuddling keeps you warm. So grab a blanket and a buddy and snuggle up!

Watch or read something that stimulates your mind 

It's perfectly okay to watch/read a few things that are happy-go-lucky or escapist, however I encourage you to watch/read something that challenges you as well. Learning helps keep your brain sharp, makes you feel more enlightened and widens your perspective on the world.

At our house, we're currently watching The Crown and The Curse of Oak Island - both are based on historical events and real life mysteries - I learn something new with every episode!

Light a candle or use some essential oils

About a year ago, I purchased an oil diffuser and it's been a big part of my self-care routine. At the end of a long day, or in the morning when I'm preparing for a new day, I like to light up my diffuser with a beeswax candle and fill the air with a soothing scent. Not only does it smell great, but it adds a little more moisture to the air which is well needed in dry winters.

For Uplifting and Awakening: Orange + Peppermint + Grapefruit
For Calming: Lavender + Sage + Lemon
For Stuffy Noses: Eucalyptus + Peppermint

Work up a sweat

I'm guilty of slacking off on this one - especially in winter as it's cold and I want to stay under blankets. Working up a sweat however is a extremely beneficial to your heath physically and mentally (hello, endorphins!)

Make an effort to be more active - dance to some music, go for a job or even just do some yoga at home. It'll be hard getting started, but you'll feel amazing and more accomplished afterwards.

Wear clothes that make you feel good

What you wear does effect how you feel. Whether you spend most of your time at home, work or outside, invest in some clothes that truly make you feel comfortable and happy.

For me, this is leggings, some knitted socks, and a cozy vintage sweater. I like soft, eco-fabrics like modal against my skin whenever I can, and I prefer things that are loose and I can move easily in. But you choose what works best for you!

Keep a journal

Writing your thoughts down is therapy (and much cheaper than an actual therapist!) Sometimes just getting thoughts out of your head and onto paper is all you need to keep your mind from jumbling up or stressing out. It also helps you see over time your fears and growth as a person.

I've personally been keeping a journal since I was seven years old. While I don't write in it every day, I try to jot a few things down every so often, especially if I'm feeling stressed or angry. I find that when I read these thoughts later on down the road I can see how these experiences have changed me as a person (for the better). I try to write down postive things as well not only for my records but to practice gratitude more often.

Indulge in a good meal

For me, I like a good brunch. Waffles, fruit, bacon, eggs, orange juice, the whole bit but you can cook whatever you like (or go out to eat!) Don't be afraid to light some candles, put on some music, or set the table for yourself either. It's okay to treat yourself!

Re-arrange your personal space

Whether it's your bedroom, desk, workspace etc, rearranging your space often can inspire you and help you keep things tidy. Do what you can to make your space uniquely YOU. Add some plants or art that speaks to you. Print out a quote that inspires you. Whatever makes your place happy.

Turn off your phone

I'll admit it, I check my phone a lot. And it's not because I'm always getting calls or emails - it's just a bad habit. It's a little upsetting to think about how much time I waste doing this, so I'm going to work on leaving my phone behind more often and taking more breaks from technology. If people could manage to live and be happy without being constantly connected 50+ years ago, then so can we.

Get more sleep

Most animals hibernate when the cold hits, so it's not a surprise that we feel more tired in winter. Colder temperatures, less sun, and a taxing schedule can easily drain anyone.

Our bodies and minds need rest in order to recharge and heal, so it's important to get enough sleep. Listen to your body - if you feel tired, give yourself a break and get to bed earlier, or take a nap. You'll feel much more rested and able to tackle the stresses of tomorrow after a good sleep.

There are many ways to engage in soul-care but the trick is building a routine that works for you. Only you know what makes you feel relaxed and happy and I encourage you to do more of that. 

Remember, you can't help others without helping yourself first. You have a responsibility to yourself to nurture and care for yourself so that you can replenish and refresh your body and spirit. Doing so is essential for good health, and allows us to fully share ourselves with others. Helping yourself, helps others. Make it a priority this holiday season, and beyond.

Namaste.

Brittany
@simplylynne

10 Tips for Having a More Ethical Christmas

Photo from Unsplash.com

While browsing some shops this past weekend, I found it easy to get wrapped up for a few minutes in the excitement and hustle of the holidays. The stores are filled with glittery decorations, a magnitude of gift options, countless stocking stuffers and everything you need to have a holly jolly Christmas. 

Or at least everything you think you need. 

With the mass consumption and commercialization that traditionally goes hand in hand with Christmas, it's hard to imagine how the words "ethical" and "Christmas" can be used in the same sentence. 

I'll admit, it took a lot of energy to walk away from the shops empty handed (okay, mostly empty handed - I'm still working on it). I had one or two rolls of adorable wrapping paper in my hand and was heavily eyeing up the fair isle flannel bedsheets. 

Before checking out I did what I always do when shopping - I asked myself if I really needed these items. 

How would these items benefit my life? How would purchasing these items effect me, and the world? Were these items made ethically or with the environment in mind? Do I have something I could use at home already instead? 

And then I put everything back on the shelf. I don't need new wrapping paper or winter themed bedsheets to be happy this holiday season. 

What I do need to be happy is to make choices I feel good about. This includes aspiring to make more informed and ethical choices - during the holiday season and year round. 

While I don't expect you to follow everything on this list, even doing a few of these things can make a better impact on the world.  

1) Instead of buying new wrapping paper, challenge yourself to use only things you have at home. 

This could range from old newspapers, scrap fabric, old tea towels to construction paper, yarn and left over ribbons for bows. Here's a great article on some other eco-friendly wrapping ideas!

2) If you do decide to buy wrapping paper, make sure it's recyclable. 

You may be surprised but most wrapping paper on the market (shiny, laminated paper) is in fact, non-recyclable! This means tonnes of garbage is made around the world on Christmas morning. Brown paper (which is often made from recycled paper to begin with) is your best bet and has limitless decoration opportunities. 

3) Borrow holiday decorations, or purchase from a thrift store. 

There are literally tons of Christmas lights and decorations already in existence. Most of these sadly will eventually end up in a landfill - or they could end up on your tree!

4) Buy less, buy good, or buy nothing. 

The less you purchase, the less resources are being used and the less that will (again) end up in a landfill. If you do make a purchase, consider if it can be recycled (right down to the packaging!) or if it was made ethically (more on this below). Buying nothing is of course, the best option.

5) Shop from small businesses or ethical brands. 

There are a lot of great brands out there that support a charity cause, or are made ethically and with the earth in mind. Here's a great list of ethical clothing brands. One of my favourite ethical and green clothing brands is Encircled - they offer luxuriously soft eco-fabrics in classic designs - and everything is made in Canada! Likewise, Etsy is a great place to find homemade gifts and support local small brands. You can even find me on there!

6) Help out a charity cause. 

Donate to a local food bank, sponsor a child or animal, volunteer at a soup kitchen, or fill up a stocking for someone less fortunate. Love is meant to be shared - not just at Christmas but year round. A generous heart can change the world.

7) Visit with an elderly person. 

It's a difficult time of year for many and the elderly are no exception. Whether you visit an elderly home or say something kind to someone you meet on the street, it could really make a difference in a persons life.

8) Make sure to recycle holiday cards. 

Since millions of cards are sent each year, it's important to keep them out of landfills! To make an even more eco-friendly open - go paperless instead. 

9) When considering gifts for children, consider starting a fund for them instead of toys.

The average child collects a lot of toys and clothes over the years, most of which are quickly outgrown and take up a lot of space. While a few fun things are okay, it's important to invest in their future, too! Maybe a college fund?

10) Make more gifts. 

Baked goods, a knitted scarf, DIY body scrub...the list goes on! With homemade gifts, you'll never have to worry about what the ingredients are, how the item was made and who made it - it's all you!

Remember, every dollar you spend is a vote towards the world you want to live in. Making more ethical choices this holiday season is a great way to vote for a better world - one that's based on ethical practices and is gentle on the environment. Having a more ethical Christmas is giving the gift of the future to many. Be generous with it. 

Brittany

@simplylynne