Living with Less - Detoxing Your Mind

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Lately I've been having trouble sleeping. I've gone to bed thoroughly exhausted but no matter how tired my body is, I can't seem to shut my mind off.

As soon as my head hits the pillow, my thoughts start to race. I start to think about all the things I have to do, and the plans I need to make the next day. I'll think about all the things I'm worried about, and think of ways that I could fix the issues in my life. An hour or two (or three) later, I'm finally asleep.

The next day, I'm too exhausted to achieve all the things I thought about the night before which leave me feeling frustrated and planning when I go to bed the next night, and the cycle starts all over again.

I'm sure you've been there before and understand how frustrating it is when you can't control your thoughts. A racing mind can leave you consumed with worry and stress which negatively effects your overall health and well-being - an unfortunate side effect of our busy world!

I'm working on controlling my thoughts so I can create a more peaceful home inside my head which in time will create a healthier and happier me. It's time to s l o w  d o w n and edit your mind - so you can get some peace of mind!

Clear the busy air around you.

Turn your phone off, close the extra tabs, seek out somewhere quiet. Even if you're in a busy, urban area you can create your own peace and quiet by limiting your interactions with technology and other people.

For me this usually means putting my phone on silent in another room, or waking up while everyone else is asleep so I don't have to focus on anyone else but me for a while.

Let go of any regrets and accept them as lessons learned.

A lot of times when we stress out it's because of something we've done or said. We like to call these things "regrets".

Instead of regretting an experience, try to look at the experience as a lesson learned. Forgive yourself for making the mistake, tell yourself it won't happen again, and use your experience to create a better you in the future.

Accept the apology you never received.

Don't waste your energy and thoughts on someone that wouldn't do the same for you. It took me forever to learn this lesson, but it's an extremely valuable lesson.

When you hold off on forgiving someone (even for something as minor as bumping you on the bus), you're only hurting yourself by holding onto those negative feelings. If it's something major, don't accept the same poor treatment from someone (lesson learned) but allow yourself to live as if they already apologized and move on. If it's something small, don't sweat it!

Focus on your breathing.

The next time you're feeling overwhelmed by your thoughts, try focusing solely on your breathing. Breathe in. Breathe out. Repeat. Let this task distract you for a while and calm you down. I've used this technique several times to help me fall asleep at night or when I've felt a sudden rush of anxiety.

Empty some of your thoughts on paper.

When your mind is racing with worry and thoughts, try emptying some of them onto paper, or into a journal. If you take a few minutes to write down your thoughts and acknowledge your feelings about them during the day, they'll be less likely to haunt you at night.

Indulge in less stimulants.

A stimulant is anything that increases your psychological energy. This can be caffeine, drugs, sugar - even certain people can be stimulants. Energy is good and essential to daily living, but too much can make your heart (and mind) race. Try cutting back, or eliminating your intake of stimulants to feel more balanced in life.

Let go of judgement and replace it with love.

Many of my negative thoughts in the past have revolved around my expectations and idea of what someone/something should be. Society has taught us that if someone/something is different then it's wrong. This idea is close-minded and does not contribute to the evolution of our world. 

Instead, replace judgment with love. Be open minded to new ways of seeing things, new ideas and new people. 

Let go of fear and replace it with trust.

As children we may have been afraid of the dark, or the monster under the bed however now that we're adults our fears have turned into something much worse.

We could be afraid of not being able to pay the bills, we could be afraid of losing our partner, or if not that - we could be afraid that we might be alone forever. We may be afraid of losing our health, our happiness, or even our hair. The options for things to fear are endless! No wonder half the world can't sleep at night.

A while ago I read a quote that resonated with me. "Worry does not take away tomorrow's troubles, it takes away today's peace." When you let your fears control you and constantly worry about things, you're only robbing yourself of time, peace, and energy. Don't let this happen.

Replace your fear with trust. Trust that things happen for a reason. Trust that you can find a solution and get through this. Trust in the timing of your life.

Focus on the positive.

Sometimes I get really wrapped up in the all the negative in the world. It feels like my newsfeed is always plagued with another shooting, another genocide, another injustice, (or another certain president). When we're constantly bombarded with negative energy in the world, it can be easy to feel overwhelmed with sadness and anger, and feel depressed.

When I start feeling like this, I try to step back and think about the progress we've made in the world - and the progress still to come.

Change doesn't happen until someone rocks the boat. Sometimes you have to fall in the water to learn how to swim (a.k.a. a bunch of bad can eventually lead to a bunch of good.) The key is to keep fighting for what's right and surrounding yourself with those people that believe in the same love and beauty that you do. Let your positive and loving thoughts trump the negative ones. Pun intended.


Your mind is a powerful tool which effects your entire well-being and peace of mind - don't forget to cleanse and nourish it, as well as your body! 

Affirmations:

I let go of resentment, and replace it with forgiveness.
I let go of judgement, and replace it with love.
I let go of fear, and replace it with trust.
I am in control of my thoughts and happiness.
I allow peace and positivity into my life and mind.

Namaste.

Brittany
@simplylynne


***On a side note - it's my birthday this weekend, yay! I'll be taking it easy and spending some time with loved ones. To celebrate I'm doing a sale on Etsy - Everything in the shop is 15% off until January 23rd. Just use the code "SURPRISE" during checkout!***

Living with Less Series #2 - Detoxing Your Relationships

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"You can't change a person".

We've all heard this expression. Heck, I've probably heard it 100x in my life but it was only a couple years ago when I really started to understand the truth behind the phrase, thanks to one specific person.

I am of course referring to my infamous ex-boyfriend, a.k.a. the life lesson. Since I mention him so often, let's make things simple and call him Francis.*

I remember being open minded and accepting during the pre-dating phase. However as soon as we had the label "boyfriend/girlfriend" I changed. Since we were official, I thought I could relax a little and be me - and me wanted Francis to change. 

I wanted to change the way he dressed. I wanted to change his home and wished he would be cleaner and tidier. I'd criticize his diet, and how he'd spend his time. I wanted him to be more attentive, and care more. In this instance, I was in the wrong for trying to make him something he's not, regardless of how nicely I asked, if my intentions were good, or if it was something I deserved.

If he indeed did all those things I wanted, and was all those things - he wouldn't be Francis. He'd be someone else. (Cue the ah ha moment in my life.)

You can't change a person. 

If you don't like a person/their behaviour/their lifestyle etc., you have two choices.

A) You can accept them as they are, or change your reaction and attitude towards them.
B) You can move on or cut them off.

In regards to my situation with Francis (and with any relationship, really) it's important to ask yourself why you want someone to change in the first place. Is it truly for their benefit, or for yours?

Are they doing something that's harmful or unkind? Could there be any miscommunication between you? Does this person add value or happiness to my life?

More than often, lack of communication, lack of contribution, and lack of listening is what creates a toxic relationship. Relationships should be give and take, each person working towards the same goal. If communication, listening and respect aren't in a relationship, it's not likely to be healthy and successful.

However let's state something important here about the latter - some people are just toxic and need to be cut off. 

Toxic people are the ones that leave you feeling drained, lonely, insignificant or any other negative emotion. They're the ones that leave you feeling physically ill or tense - maybe even with headaches or blotchy skin (almost like a food toxin's effect on you!) They are people that take more than they give, and are most often known to be the cause of "drama".

If you think this is the case do yourself a favour and cut them off from you.

Unfriend them on social media, delete their number, delete the pictures, avoid them, whatever helps you best remove them from your life (besides their untimely and suspicious death, obviously). Life is way too short to be around someone who makes you feel like less than you deserve.

Of course, we can't always cut off every toxic person from our lives. 

For instance, let's say you love your job but your boss constantly makes you feel underappreciated, insecure, or drained. There are several ways you could approach the issue.

1) You could avoid confrontation, keep your head down and continue to accept the negativity until it slowly eats away at your soul. This option could jeopardize both your physical and mental health by creating a chronically stressful situation for you.

2) You could communicate with your boss and let them know how they're making you feel, and suggest ways you could improve the situation. If it's just the relationship that's toxic, and not the person themselves, you may be able to use communication to improve the situation.

However this could have a backlash if the person themselves is toxic and they may feel threatened by your confrontation. Remember, you can't change a person.

3) You could quit the job, leave their negativity behind and jump into the waters of the great unknown. This is usually a last resort and is scary as hell to do but in the long run could lead to new opportunities and a healthier and happier life.

Making the choice to detox your relationships isn't always easy, but you need to make the right choice for you and your health. 

Take some time to evaluate your personal relationships. How does a certain person make you feel? Is there something you need to work on, or do you need to move on?

Respect yourself and set boundaries for those around you. Have the courage to communicate and confront toxic situations with the intention to create positive change.

If a person continuously causes you stress or pain, don't be afraid to limit your contact or cut them off completely. Accept that people can't be changed, and you can either love them as they are, or let them go. 

The choice is never easy, but the choice is yours. 

Namaste.

Brittany
@simplylynne

Tune in next week for the 3rd installment of our Living with Less Series: Detoxing Your Mind!


*Name changed for obvious reasons - you may know him!

The Best Gift to Give Yourself This Season

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With American Thanksgiving over and the rush of Black Friday finished, people all around the world are gearing up for the busiest month of the year. There are people to see, events to plan, and in Hagrid's words - "lots to buy" as we prepare for the holidays.

December isn't just about those holidays and all the busyness that comes with it. It's also about finishing off another year and preparing for a new one. 

Knowing this can stir up a lot of mixed emotions. Combine this with holiday stress, frequent interactions with other people, and cold weather and you've got a recipe for illness. 

If you're wanting to fully enjoy December, you need to approach it with a clear head - not a stuffed up one! Practicing some self-care (a.k.a. soul care) rituals is essential to keeping yourself calm and healthy this holiday season.

Here are some of my favourite ways to wind down. If you'd like to share some of your own, feel free to comment below!

Have a cup of tea. Or three.

There's nothing that makes me more content or relaxed than a great cup of tea.

My two favourite brands right now are David's Tea and Pukka Teas. Many teas not only taste good but have ingredients which can physically combat illness! For boosting the immune system, Pukka's Elderberry and Echinacea is great (and so delicious!) as is Pick Me Up from David's Tea with cold fighting turmeric and ginger.

Cuddle with a pet/significant other/blanket 

Cuddling is scientifically proven to release stress. Less stress = healthier you. Plus, it's chilly and cuddling keeps you warm. So grab a blanket and a buddy and snuggle up!

Watch or read something that stimulates your mind 

It's perfectly okay to watch/read a few things that are happy-go-lucky or escapist, however I encourage you to watch/read something that challenges you as well. Learning helps keep your brain sharp, makes you feel more enlightened and widens your perspective on the world.

At our house, we're currently watching The Crown and The Curse of Oak Island - both are based on historical events and real life mysteries - I learn something new with every episode!

Light a candle or use some essential oils

About a year ago, I purchased an oil diffuser and it's been a big part of my self-care routine. At the end of a long day, or in the morning when I'm preparing for a new day, I like to light up my diffuser with a beeswax candle and fill the air with a soothing scent. Not only does it smell great, but it adds a little more moisture to the air which is well needed in dry winters.

For Uplifting and Awakening: Orange + Peppermint + Grapefruit
For Calming: Lavender + Sage + Lemon
For Stuffy Noses: Eucalyptus + Peppermint

Work up a sweat

I'm guilty of slacking off on this one - especially in winter as it's cold and I want to stay under blankets. Working up a sweat however is a extremely beneficial to your heath physically and mentally (hello, endorphins!)

Make an effort to be more active - dance to some music, go for a job or even just do some yoga at home. It'll be hard getting started, but you'll feel amazing and more accomplished afterwards.

Wear clothes that make you feel good

What you wear does effect how you feel. Whether you spend most of your time at home, work or outside, invest in some clothes that truly make you feel comfortable and happy.

For me, this is leggings, some knitted socks, and a cozy vintage sweater. I like soft, eco-fabrics like modal against my skin whenever I can, and I prefer things that are loose and I can move easily in. But you choose what works best for you!

Keep a journal

Writing your thoughts down is therapy (and much cheaper than an actual therapist!) Sometimes just getting thoughts out of your head and onto paper is all you need to keep your mind from jumbling up or stressing out. It also helps you see over time your fears and growth as a person.

I've personally been keeping a journal since I was seven years old. While I don't write in it every day, I try to jot a few things down every so often, especially if I'm feeling stressed or angry. I find that when I read these thoughts later on down the road I can see how these experiences have changed me as a person (for the better). I try to write down postive things as well not only for my records but to practice gratitude more often.

Indulge in a good meal

For me, I like a good brunch. Waffles, fruit, bacon, eggs, orange juice, the whole bit but you can cook whatever you like (or go out to eat!) Don't be afraid to light some candles, put on some music, or set the table for yourself either. It's okay to treat yourself!

Re-arrange your personal space

Whether it's your bedroom, desk, workspace etc, rearranging your space often can inspire you and help you keep things tidy. Do what you can to make your space uniquely YOU. Add some plants or art that speaks to you. Print out a quote that inspires you. Whatever makes your place happy.

Turn off your phone

I'll admit it, I check my phone a lot. And it's not because I'm always getting calls or emails - it's just a bad habit. It's a little upsetting to think about how much time I waste doing this, so I'm going to work on leaving my phone behind more often and taking more breaks from technology. If people could manage to live and be happy without being constantly connected 50+ years ago, then so can we.

Get more sleep

Most animals hibernate when the cold hits, so it's not a surprise that we feel more tired in winter. Colder temperatures, less sun, and a taxing schedule can easily drain anyone.

Our bodies and minds need rest in order to recharge and heal, so it's important to get enough sleep. Listen to your body - if you feel tired, give yourself a break and get to bed earlier, or take a nap. You'll feel much more rested and able to tackle the stresses of tomorrow after a good sleep.

There are many ways to engage in soul-care but the trick is building a routine that works for you. Only you know what makes you feel relaxed and happy and I encourage you to do more of that. 

Remember, you can't help others without helping yourself first. You have a responsibility to yourself to nurture and care for yourself so that you can replenish and refresh your body and spirit. Doing so is essential for good health, and allows us to fully share ourselves with others. Helping yourself, helps others. Make it a priority this holiday season, and beyond.

Namaste.

Brittany
@simplylynne

Maximizing Holiday Cheer and Minimizing Holiday Stress

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I'll admit it.

I'm one of those people that start their holiday shopping in October and put their tree up right after Remembrance Day. I'll watch the cheesiest of holiday movies for weeks on end and I relish making snowflakes out of paper in my spare time.

It's no secret that people are the most caring and generous around the holiday season which is for the most part why I start the festivities well in advance. I want to keep the excitement and jolliness around for as long as possible.

Starting my holiday mode early also means that I keep relatively organized with my holiday plans, shopping and scheduling. Of course, I know not everyone is like this and I know how stressful the holiday season can be.

In the hopes to minimize your holiday stress and maximize your holiday cheer, I'm sharing some of my own tips for keeping your cool this Christmas. You can do this!

1) Start any holiday shopping as early as possible

Immediately following Halloween, the malls double and triple their usual traffic. If crowds of people give you anxiety (like me) then it's best to avoid the malls as much as possible.

If you do have to pick something up at the mall, pick a time when the mall isn't as busy - right when it opens is best. If you already have an idea of what you're looking for, you'll cut down efficiently on time, too.

An even better option, do your holiday shopping online. You can beat the crowds, and stay in your pajamas. It's a win-win.

2) Minimize your shopping list

The thought of giving and receiving gifts can give people a lot of stress. Sometimes we feel obligated to get someone a gift because we know they're likely to give us one, or we're unsure of what to give someone. Not to mention, it's expensive and time consuming to buy holiday gifts. Just thinking about it is making me a tad anxious!

To make your life easier, make a list of all the people you'd like to gift this season and see if you can cross out a few names or acknowledge them in a different way. For example, give them a gift that you don't have to buy such as quality time, something that you've made or something you can regift. Even something as simple as writing a heartfelt note can go a long way in warming the hearts of loved ones (and cut down your stress levels!)

Likewise, if everyone in your family or friends circle swaps gifts, consider doing a Secret Santa style exchange instead so there's less gifts to buy. The less gifts you have to buy, the less stress you have.

3) Instead of buying gifts, consider gifts from the heart

It's no secret that money is a huge stress factor during the holidays, but it doesn't have to be. As concluded in The Grinch, Christmas doesn't come in a box - it's not about the gifts and commercialism, it's about sharing joy and love with those around you. 

This is why I'm pleased to hear that more and more people are adapting a "homemade Christmas" nowdays. The idea behind a homemade Christmas is to only give gifts which you either make, already have, or is in the form of quality time. It's much more cost efficient, and makes gift giving a lot more personal. I'm working at adapting this attitude more and more each year.

Another modern holiday concept is the "minimalist Christmas" - gifts in this tradition revolve around things which bring joy and practicality to life. Often this includes something to eat, something to read, something to wear, and something they need. You'll see no useless knick-knacks in a minimalist's stocking!

4) Don't go to every party

If you've got a lot of invitations for cookie swaps, family gatherings and parties it can be easy to feel overwhelmed and short on time. But guess what - you're not obligated to do all the things and you can still have a happy holiday. 

Instead of trying to fit everything into your schedule this year, pick a few favourite/essential events and just commit to those. Yes, you may miss out on a few things but you'll be able to more fully enjoy the few events you do attend without the extra pressure or stress.

5) If family gatherings are stressful, bring your own sunshine

I know how complicated family dinners can be - the obnoxious relatives, the embarrassing stories or haunting past - it's enough to make anyone dread a family event. But you don't have to do it alone. 

If you're able to bring a guest, bring someone that will laugh through the awkward conversations with you, or can make you smile around negative people.

If a guest isn't an option, try limiting your visits to shorter periods of time and if it deeply makes you anxious and unhappy, maybe consider skipping it all together.

6) It's okay to say no

If something stresses you out and causes you to loose sleep, consider whether or not it's absolutely necessary. While you may be convinced that you have to do certain things, stop and ask yourself - why? If something truly makes you miserable, why do it? You do have a choice and you do have power.

If you do decide to duck out on something and you know it'll hurt someone you love, kindly let them know why you're choosing to opt out. They may not understand, but you can offer to make it up to them at a better time.

7) Don't set expectations

We've all done it - dreamed about the perfect holiday. For some, it might be snuggling up by the fire on Christmas Eve and waking up to snow and the perfect gifts under a tree. Or maybe it's about doing all your favourite holiday activities before the year ends, and then finding out you don't have time/resources. Exceptions always set us up for disappointment. Always. Do yourself a favour and don't have any! Just be flexible with any changes and accept blessings as they come. 

8) Ask for help

If you're feeling swapped with things to do, ask someone for help. Invite a friend to come over and help you bake, or if you need to do some errands ask them to babysit. Most people are willing to help, if you just ask! 

For example, a few years ago, I was low on cash (#studentlife) and a gift exchange with friends was stressing me out - I brought it up with the leader of the group, and we were able to bring the gift amount down so I could still participate without the financial worry. Apparently I wasn't the first to mention the money concerns that year either, so it worked out for everyone!

9) Be realistic

You're a human being. As such, you have limits on your time, energy and resources. Set yourself a budget and stick to it. Don't overbook yourself, and remember to give yourself a break from the festivities and people. Know your limit, sleigh within it (oy, that was bad).

10) Take care of yourself

Being sick over the holidays can not only be uncomfortable, but inconvenient. It's the time of year you'd much rather be spending time with friends than stuck in bed.

While you can't predict when illness will occur, you can do what you can to prevent it by following a regular sleep schedule, eating healthy and staying active.

I personally like to stock up on echinacea and vitamin C over the holidays and take these vitamins when I feel stressed out or feel an illness coming on. While I'm not a doctor, I do believe it's really helped me have speedier recovery times! Tea and some quiet time is also beneficial - do whatever helps you reconnect, recharge and relax.

Above all, remember, the holidays are supposed to be fun. Don't let yourself get so wrapped up (pun intended) in the gift giving, event planning and holiday stress that you forget to enjoy yourself and share joy with others.

Brittany
@simplylynne